Archives for category: Fun

Alt-Right Comes Out With Statement, ‘James Fields Jr. Just Trolling’

http://www.kymonews.com/news/international/alt-right-comes-out-with-statement-james-fields-jr-just-trolling/article5633564/

In the wake of the terrorist attack in Charlottesville, Virginia, where white supremacist James Field Jr. rammed his vehicle into a crowd of peaceful anti-racist protesters, journalists sought the perspective of the controversial Alt-Right movement, as their surging popularity has been linked to growing white supremacy and Neo-Nazism in the United States. Some see them as synonymous, but Alt-Right spokesperson, Steve Brandon, said that the liberal media has been misrepresenting their views.

“James Fields Jr. was just trolling,” said Brandon, “Liberals are so thin-skinned!” Brandon painted a picture of scrappy outsiders, getting together to play pranks and have some laughs. “We sort of play at social satire. We’ll make jokes about lynchings, make denigrating comments about Jews, or run over peaceful protesters, but it’s on you if you get offended! If you think the celebration of certain views inevitably leads to real-world actions based on those views, then you just don’t understand the First Amendment! We have the right to free speech in this country, and criticizing that speech is censorship!”

Brandon says that the main difference between the Alt-Right and Hitler’s Nazi party, even though the two openly share slogans, was that the Nazis were in power, while the Alt-Right has no such claims to government positions. Their entire worldview relies on not being a part of the mainstream, thus holding power is antithetical to their outlook of being oppressed. When asked about the current president, Brandon referred back to Obama and Hilary, saying that the two of them are evil incarnate. When it was expressed that this made no actual sense, Brandon rolled his eyes, and castigated the liberal fake news media once more, before returning to the White House to continue as a top adviser in Trump’s cabinet.

The traditional worship of the gods of the Greek pantheon has all but ended in our scientific modernity, yet their influence has never waned. They have merely slipped from memory, bygones of a superstitious era when humans were believed to be primitive in their comprehension of the universe. However, the governance of our universe still remains in their divine hands. For what is 299 792 458 m/s if not shining Helios, riding his chariot across the universe, illuminating our world. Who is unseen Hades if not 6.626070040(81)×10−34 J⋅s, the ruler of the underworld, governing its chaos. Although his time as the lord of all the Olympic gods has concluded, mighty Zeus still hurls his thunderbolts as 1.6021766208(98)×10−19 C. Uranus, father of Cronus, holds together the heavens as 6.674×10−11 N⋅m2/kg2, while his wife, 9.80665 m/s2, mother Gaia, rules our home of Earth. Though much less capricious, these immortal and immutable gods still define our understanding of the universe surrounding us. We still worship them in awe and wonder, we’ve just forgotten their names.

Conceding that the internet will never be suitable for anything other than cute animal pictures, I am giving up my raison-d’être for delivering social and philosophical insight into the nature of our culture, our universe, and our selves. People do not wish to contemplate their purpose, nor do they long for a just society if it means having to think critically about the world around them. I have failed to stop the tides, and it seems the only course of action is to give in to the mindlessness of hedonistic distractionism.

So, here is a list of cute animal pictures. They are numbered because breaking everything down into manageable chunks is the only way to communicate within the insipidness of the internet age.

1.

Can caring about this kitten and caring about the societal decay that surrounds us coexist? No. It's one or the other.

Convince the people of the beneficence of your tyranny, and they will wage your wars against the oppressed for you.

2.

Substituting direct human contact for digital communication has been the greatest failure of the technological age.

Substituting direct human contact for digital interaction has been the greatest failure of the technological age.

3.

Human fragility is not the lack of stoic endurance, but the fear of the inevitable. The fear of death. Only when we accept the end do we become strong.

Human fragility is not the lack of stoic endurance, but the fear of the inevitable. The fear of death. Only when we accept the end do we become strong.

4.

Is fear of the Other intrinsic to the human condition, or conditioned into us by the power elite? We may destroy ourselves before the answer is discovered.

Is fear of the Other intrinsic to the human condition or learned? We may destroy ourselves before the answer is discovered.

5.

The isolation we suffer due to the competitive nature of society leads us to believing happiness is only available through mindful exertion, rather than connecting with a greater purpose.

The isolation begotten from our culturally-imposed competitiveness leads us to believe happiness is only available through mindful exertion, rather than connecting with a greater purpose.

6.

Fighting for our differences will only serve to obfuscate our similarities.

7.

If we believe in the supremacy of our current paradigm, then history is nothing but a long series of misinterpretations. Given this trend, what merit does our 'truth' really hold?

If we believe in the supremacy of our current paradigm, then history is nothing but a long series of misinterpretations. Given this trend, what value does our ‘truth’ really hold?

8.

When the end comes, both sides will look to the other and say, “I told you so!”